Hmm what a crazy life I lead I must say. Right now I am chilling in the production room in Tampa killing time while ROH commentary is being done. In a few hours it will be time to SHIMMER! You guys have been waiting for it and tonight we take a huge step towards getting it to you all at home. It feels good to be teamed up again with my old partner Dave Prazak.
So the holidays have passed and I imagine life for most of us has returned to normal. My holiday was great, thanks to great family, good friends and yes, the folks at US Air. And here begins my rant....you should probably ear muff the kids as this won't be pretty. Thursday morning finds me at the Philadelphia airport on two hours sleep but hyped to be heading to my folks' place in NC. Got through security relatively quick so I had a nice little wait at my gate, no big deal. On the plane, which was a bit crowded and super hot but eh, no big deal, I fell asleep before we even leave the gate. Which is interesting as apparently we sat on the runway for an hour. Now we are going into "could be a big deal territory". So I land safely in Charlotte to discover that my connection had already started boarding fifteen minutes prior. Uh oh. And the gate I am at now is clear on the opposite side of the airport in which my connection is at. Big uh oh. So I ask the flight attendant what are our chances of making this flight. She says to help those in a time crunch they will announce to the rest of the flight to please stay seated until we get off the plane to increase our chances of making it. Sweet, thanks stewardess lady. They make the announcement, things are cool. Then it is time to get off and up stands this pig of a woman who decides to block the entire path on my side of the plane. I ask her to please let me through as I am rushed to make this flight. Her response? "No. They will hold your flight for you". Ummm yeah that is not what the flight attendant said. So I ask again and again she refuses to move her fat ass. Now I am pissed. As she blocks our pass for NO reason other than she is a heinous oxygen theif the stewardess announces that we have no chance of making our flight and we will be moved to the next available flight which is five hours later (and will cost me the holiday with my parents). I am ready to kill, Tracy Smothers style. I am boiling mad and the lady actually turns to me, laughs and says "Oh well, at least they are holding my plane". You fucking piece of shit.
Now I am going to digress for a second and give you a little insight to Allison Danger and airports. With the exception of one recent event (which had it not been for my better half I would have easily ended up in jail for calling a cop a cocksucker. I don't recommend this method of handling a Philadelphia airport cop. Most are cool but there are a few that are on a ridiculous power trip-that is a story for another day. But for the record, I was right, he was wrong and he was/is a cocksucker.) I am a patient airport person. In fact, they should use me in airport security training videos. I don't complain about long lines, I always show up early, I am patient and kind to airport employees and never, ever complain about going through security. Hell, security in Hawaii called me the model traveller for my easy going manner. But this lady trying to ruin my holiday sent me through the roof.
So I finally get past superwhore fatass McGee and run straight to Special Services. Here is where things start going my way. I explain the situation to the lady, who understands what I was going through. She grabs her walkie talkie and then tells me to hop on the cart. Alright! She tells me they haven't closed the doors yet so she was going to race me across the airport to the terminal in hopes of getting me on that plane. I must admit that riding on that cart, red faced with anger and wearing a monkey hat, was a bit embarrassing but fuck it, I need to get to Thanksgiving. Two carts later (there were stairs between the gates) and I make it literally with a minute to spare. They had ended up holding the plane just a few more minutes. About half of us from the first flight made it but thanks to Captain Fatass several people did miss our flight.
So my reason for venting all this on here? Mostly to get it off my chest but deep down I do kinda hope she has a kid who is a wrestling fan. So that kid can show her what a piece of shit I think she is.
In the end though I had a great holiday with my parents, a few good days off to spend time with family and my dogs, cats and birds. And on my return flight, I got bumped into first class at my connection because we missed our original flight by about an hour. At least it was to rain and not some bitter bitch who delights in making those around her as miserable as she must be on the inside.
Time to Shimmer...