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Allison Danger

[ website | AllisonDanger.com ]
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Ahh the threat of rape [26 Dec 2006|11:05pm]
[ mood | amused ]

As seen on my latest MySpace blog, here is just a fraction of the harassment I have been receiving from someone who just didn't get that Wii system from Mommy and Daddy this holiday season. I have been bombarded from approximately ten different screen names but all threatening me with rape, AIDS, torture and calling me delightful names like cunt. Nice, eh? Now I could continue to contact AOL and MySpace but why not allow you all to have some fun at his expense? So join in the fun folks! Here is a taste of his MySpace message and his MySpace addy. Soon to follow-screen names!


"Hi, you're a complete bitch. You have an attitude problem and think you're better than everyone else on the face of the earth, and in actuality you're not special. You're a human just like everyone else so you should try acting like one some time. You're just some little bitch in the shadow of her brother, who was a mediocre at best and highly overrated wrestler, not to mention a pussy that threatens to call the cops, the feds, the CIA, and space aliens whenever he's insulted - and you don't seem to be much better. How your parents can make the same mistake of raising an utter retard - TWICE is beyond me. On top of that you look like a Mario Brother without body hair. Overall I just wanted to tell you you're a worthless human being, and maybe if you carried yourself better people wouldn't hope to God that you die in a horrible car accident, or contract AIDS from the next guy who fucks you.

The end."

Allison 2 Internet punks 0

20 comments|post comment

[25 Aug 2006|10:33pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]

Am I mad that I am bleeding or just concerned about getting blood on da' fancy gear? You be the judge! Maybe I should be more concerned with Gee Star coming up behind me. But this is my debut at CWF in Burlington, NC (all caught on camera by Slamfest Bob of slamfestwrestling.com)! And was I as welcome as a fart in church there. But do I care what the CWF fans think? NOPE! My partner for the evening (future team perhaps?) Amber O'Neal and I pick up the win over Hee-Star and Lorelei. Party at K&W's! Whoot whoot!

Keeping a low profile this weekend, preparing for next week's Chickfight in San Fran. Time to step things up a notch and go from round one loser to Chickfight finals winner. Time to take San Fran by storm! And sell them my t-shirts! :)

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new stuff! [07 Aug 2006|09:53pm]
[ mood | hot ]


Check out the new shirts and pictures! While you are at it, buy a shirt!

2 comments|post comment

And we're back! [17 Jul 2006|01:00pm]
[ mood | exhausted ]

Hi everybody! This hot and stuffy Monday afternoon sees me back on American soil. There is no place like home, right? Right! Until you look around home and realize you have no food and a PILE of laundry to do. But I can easily avoid those chores by updating thee old livejournal. Yeah!

Unfortunately I left my travel notebook here in the States so I don't know how much detail I can give you about the trip. Alot of stuff happening in a short amount of time.

The flight to Japan wasn't near as bad as I was expecting. 13 hours is a long time to be in one spot, especially for those possessing the short attention span that I do. I got to share a row of four seats with two rotating members of a large Chinese family traveling together. At one point their little five year old fell asleep on my feet. The poor thing looked so peaceful I didn't have the heart to move her so I just crashed out too for a bit.

Airplane movies have been on a long running streak of suck. But this flight changed that in one movie: Curious George. That movie kicked all sorts of ass! As a kid I never got into the books but George is so damn cute in this movie that I was just sucked in. It even made me like Jack Johnson, who up until that point I couldn't really stand. And now I have to wait until September 26th to buy the DVD. Do'h!

I landed in Narita airport on Wednesday afternoon and met up with Trenisha and went into Tokyo to the Z-1 Max office. We taped a few promos with Amazing Kong (together the three of us make up REM-Real Evil Makers) and one promo with my brother, then it was off to the hotel for some rest. Thursday found us at the Pride dojo for four hours of training. I learned some new things and got a great workout in the ring. After a few hours rest a group of us went into Roppongi and had dinner and watched the recent Hustle show at Brainbusters. Evil!

Friday I spent part of the morning at the internet cafe catching up, drinking hot chocolate and snagging numerous Curious George stickers. Friday night I traveled with Steve and da' Panther Claw to Shinjuku Face for our first round of matches against the Dream Catchers. I faced and beat Saki Maemura with the Shimmering Warlock and Amazing Kong put away Nanae Takahishi after an INSANE battle. HIKARU was able to barely squeak out a win over our girl Panther Claw but Konger made things right by holding her down and cutting off her hair. If this wrestling thing doesn't work out at least REM has a back career in hair fashions.

Saturday we made the five hour trek up to Niigata for the "Destructive King 1st Anniversary Mourning & Naohiro Hoshikawa Encouragement" show. REM faced the Dream Catchers of Takahishi, HIKARU and Natsuki*Head (or who I like to call Captain Kicks Alot). Panther Claw took home the win for REM.

Sunday comes and it is time to head home. Da' Claw and I cruised around Shiba Park a bit before Steve and I headed to the airport. Our flight to Detroit was PACKED and I had the ultimate misfortune of being seated in the window seat next to the worst smelling human of all time. Within twenty minutes of being seated next to me, I have tears in my eyes and vomit in my throat. The flight attendant actually had to pull me up into the galley before I puked in front of everyone. Thankfully the woman was moved and seated with her family and I got a new non-smelly person to sit next to. You know a person smells bad when they move and their scent actually stings your eyes. UGH. The movies sucked so I tried to sleep as much as I could. The flight home from Detroit was almost great until we arrived at the airport 30 minutes early and was forced to circle in the air for awhile. Blah.

But we're back! And jet lagged! WHOOOOOOOOO!

3 comments|post comment

J-PAN! [07 Jul 2006|12:03am]
[ mood | chipper ]

Leaving on a jet plane....to TOKYO! Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

My matches have been announced as such:

July 14th Allison Corino vs. Saki Maemura

July 15th Allison Corino & Panther Claw vs. Nanae Takahashi & HIKARU

7 comments|post comment

SHIMMER [09 Jun 2006|09:13pm]
[ mood | geeky ]

Alright, time for phase two of my live journal update. But before I launch into my day at SHIMMER can I just complain for a moment how hard it is to find my favorite Jolly Rancher flavor? There is only ONE place around that carries cinnamon fire Jolly Ranchers and my mom bought out their last bit of stock (which ended up being about three bags). What's a girl gotta do?!?!?!

Ahhhh time to SHIMMER like a girl. The time has come to tape Volumes 5 & 6. After crashing in Kalamazoo for a few hours I have off to Chicago for the show. First stop-hotel. Second stop-Midway. I retrieve not only my bag but also Amber O'Neal and Nikki Roxx. Not too shabby, things are off to a good start. Then Subway happens. At least 30 minutes to get four sandwiches made. And the Baked Lay's BBQ chips were months expired. And the girl didn't know what swiss cheese was!! The one with the holes in it ya dumb bitch! GRRRRRRRRR!

Its myself vs. Cheerleader Melissa on Volume 5. Sweet deal. This is our first time meeting in the ring one on one. At one point Melissa has me in her submission and I realize at that very moment that "oh shit, I am not NEAR as bendy as the 'Chif". My W-L record nearly went in the shitter with my cell phone. But alas I pull out the W with an inside cradle and my phone is ok after drying out for 24 hours.

Watching the later matches from my viewpoint in the back I notice the cheating ways of one Rebecca Knoxx. Not in my house! I call her out and challenge her to a Pure Wrestling Rules match on Volume 6. And I lose. SHITBURGER! What does it take for me to bring this girl down??? Gonna start with more training, more gym and more tape watching. Yeah, that's a start. And if that doesn't work I will shoot her. I could use the street cred.

After losing my voice and enjoying some pizza buffet after the show I am back at the hotel and ready to sleep. I was up waaaaaaaaaay past my bedtime. Turning 29 has made me quite the old lady. I sleep for a few hours and then it is up at 4:45ish to hit continental breakfast and then to the airport I go. I hit the airport with the Bryce and the Haze...but no Death Ray. :( We fear that she will be caught in Chicago traffic and miss her flight but at the very last second she arrives on the plane! And as she enters the Haze and I begin to hum her entrance theme....The Final Countdown. Sleepytime, Southwest Airlines style!

Next up-CHIKARA!!! In the meantime...go to www.rohvideos.com and watch the match between Lacey and myself at the most recent ROH show in CT!

2 comments|post comment

I love chocolate soy milk [31 May 2006|10:16pm]
[ mood | lazy ]

Its yummy. YUM-MY!

So much to update, so little patience. Let's see where this update takes me. First stop, World-1 in Michigan.

After a week or so of flipping flights around I am finally ready to go and face probably my scariest opponent yet in Amazing Kong. Not familiar with her? Kong is based in Japan and kicks major ass. Eats fear and small people for breakfast. Anyway, I wake up super early to catch my flight out of Philly to Detroit City (cue the Eminem music). Now I have the absolute gayest luggage Target sells, just an obnoxious shade of purple. Makes finding it at baggage claim easier. Or so I thought. I pack up my stuff, fly out of Philly, lay over in Chicago and land in Detroit. My fellow cohort and member of the "Are you gonna eat that?" gang Dave Duponte is waiting there to pick me up and head to Bay City for the show. A good two hours away. Life is good. I even get sushi for lunch. Huzzah!!!!

I arrive at the building and decide after saying my hellos that I decide to throw on some stuff and stretch out. Open my gay purple bag and notice there are men's clothes and a 12 step program book right now top. Damn roomies ribbing me I say to myself. But alas, its life having a sweet laugh at my expense. Apparently there is a man named Haresh with the same gay bag as me. And I have his. Dammit....

Fortunately (or unfortunately as I later LOST it) I did have the North American title with me in my carry on bag. Blah. All this and the idea that I was about to get the beating of a lifetime later that night makes for a frustrated Danger. And the Goffer didn't help that. Goff is a family friend and the promoter behind the show. He took great delight in my beating at the hands of Kong. Example:

(Instant Messages in the days leading up to the show)
Me: hey steve

Goff: hey you, ready to die this weekend?

Me: haha funny.

Goff: Kong is going to kill you. Kong is going to kill you.

Me: piss off.

End of story sees me out cold after two backfists and pretty much being Kong's bitch for 15 minutes. Bye bye belt. At least my mom still loves me. I am going to make a t-shirt bearing "I survived two Amazing Kong backfists and all I got was this lousy t-shirt and a bad fucking headache".

Coming soon...Second Stop-SHIMMER.

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SHIMMER [09 May 2006|10:39pm]
[ mood | sleepy ]

Ahhhh May 21st is coming together. Announced so far:

Daizee Haze vs Rebecca Knoxx 2 out of 3 falls

Sara Del Ray vs Mercedes Martinez No Time Limit

Nikita vs Lacey

Nikki Roxx vs Amazing Kong

Ariel & Shantelle Taylor vs Lexie Fyfe & Malia Hosaka

Cheerleader Melissa vs Allison Danger

Plus an personal appearance by Nora "Molly Holly" Greenwald

Not a bad little show coming together eh? Personally I am really looking forward to meeting Melissa one on one for the first time. Been watching some of her stuff to prepare myself for the challenge ahead.


3 comments|post comment

Ahhh Livejournal...... [18 Apr 2006|10:07pm]
[ mood | exhausted ]

Hello LJ, how I have neglected you. If you were a baby and I were Britney Spears Child Services would have been here weeks ago. But alas I am back!

So alot of things are new with me starting with my age. Thanks to everyone for the emails, MySpace messages and the such. Turning 29 was hard as hell but you guys made it easier. I got some cool shit from some cool people and MsChif even gave me a flying hip to the eye socket! Thanks 'Chif!

My head is in a million places and my creativity levels are running on low so I will do the best I can. First off, the ROH tripleshot was much fun. The reception that SHIMMER received in the Midwest was amazing to say the least. And you can't forget the love from NYC that SHIMMER received as well. It was good to be a woman in wrestling.

Anyone else disturbed that the theme song to this year's Miss USA contest/whore parade is Rob Zombie's Foxy Foxy???

Damn, there is more but that is for another day with me having alot more sleep under my belt. Have mercy!

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My heart is South of the Border... [28 Feb 2006|10:10pm]
[ mood | sleepy ]

While SJK's cat is undoubtedly the most hardcore cat out there I may dare to say my cat is the all over coolest by showing up on Yoshiaki Yago's recent blog.


My cat is better than you.

3 comments|post comment

In America you get ice with your water. [18 Feb 2006|09:09pm]
[ mood | exhausted ]

First off I have to say the second season of Little Britain is freaking hilarious! I mean, laugh out loud and hold your sides, hilarious. The introduction of new characters is tremendous, particularly the naked fat lady, the guy demanding bitty and lots of nudity. They have shown more dingers and bums than a Jenna Jameson flick. Best thing out of Britain since WHAM!

I wish I could say I am fully recovered from last weekend's SHIMMERing but I could seriously use about seventeen hours of uninterrupted sleep. Getting to Chicago last Saturday was a nightmare in itself. I caught a ride with my other half and Smartmark to the Andy on their way to Philly so I could arrive early to the airport before the snow really set in. We are about twenty minutes into our ride when I get a text message stating American Airlines has canceled ALL flights until Monday. Keep in mind at this point it has only been snowing not even an hour and the roads were simply wet. Argh Number 1. After killing a gajillion minutes on my cell trying to find an alternate way to Chicago Prazak comes through and strongarms American into bumping me onto United. Ok cool....

At the counter of United they tell me to do automatic check-in. However you can't do the automatic check-in when you have been put on a flight from another airline. So then I have to call from the United phone to clear it up and get my pass. I am on hold for over 10 minutes and then out that their phone line isn't working properly and the person on the other line can't hear me. Argh Number 2. So I am forced by the nice (sarcasm) lady at the counter to go back to the end of the line and wait another 20 minutes to finally get checked in. Argh Number 3. I get through security quickly and arrive at my gate with about 30 minutes to spare. Not too shabby considering. Time to board and I am on the plane sharing a row with a nice Swedish girl when the captain announces that we will be stuck on the runway for a bit and that the crew will be showing a movie to kill the time. In my head I am saying "pleeeeease show Walk the Line, pleeeease show Walk the Line!". Lo and behold-Walk the Line it is! Woooohoooo!! All is now forgiven with United Airlines.

I arrive in Chicago a few hours late but in one piece thankfully. I meet up with Dave "DP" Prazak, Sara Death Ray and Hollywood Tiana Ringer. We head into Berwyn, meet up with a few folks, have a yummy meal with bad service and keep our fingers crossed that all the gals make it safely to the show. But alas, we ended up three gals short.

Day of the show comes and IHOP is calling our names. The gals and I walk 3/4 of a mile (2 miles?!?!?!?!) and end up having a kick ass meal with great service. Best IHOP service EVER. We hit Walgreens to discover in Illinois you must show ID to get Advil Cold and Sinus. HUUUH? That shit was...well, you know.

Showtime comes but Lacey, Ariel and Martinez don't. Fucking snow. Despite the changes to the show I have to say everyone there gave 100% percent and then some. We had some great debuts, a fantastic rematch between Melissa and the 'Chif and yeah...K-Noxx showed up too. I will comment on her "knee injury" at a later time as I plan on petitioning the office about receiving a rematch. And being part of the office I have already approved it but I do not have final say. Bah.

After party is a blast as usual, I indulged in some cheat day pizza and an ice cold can of Coke. Which on Monday turned into 3 total cans. Apparently if Death Ray buys it, I will drink. Bryce and I hop on our flight home, I watch a little joshi on the way back. All in all a good weekend. But now I want some sleep!

6 comments|post comment

Dumb criminal story [07 Feb 2006|11:22pm]
[ mood | calm ]

I wasn't even going to share this story I am about to tell until I heard the second part of it a few days later. Grab the kids, pop some popcorn and gather around while Auntie Allison tells you a story of my run-in with a stupid criminal.

Last Wednesday night I was at my gym when one of the girls comes up to me and says "can I borrow you for a second, I believe there is a dead guy in the parking lot". Hmmm...in this part of town that isn't actually too much of a surprise. So I head out to the parking lot and I came across a big old Suburban parked over two parking spots and backed up into a bush. There is a guy out cold in the front seat with only the window holding him up. I knock on the window a few times, finally banging on the glass to get him to wake up. After hitting the brakes, turning on the windshield wipers, the headlights, adjusting the side view mirror this guy finally figures out how to turn on his vehicle and roll down the window. First thought...we have a drunk on our hands. And after he finally gets his window and I get a whiff of this guy then my original thought was confirmed. He smelled worse than that beer soaked skank in Cleveland (BURRRRRRRRRRN). I check to make sure he isn't suffering from some crazy medical condition and I also hope not to scare him into driving off while this freaking drunk. I go back inside and the gym calls the cops. Cops come and decide they are going to be cool and let him "sleep it off". However, they neglect to take his keys and ten minutes after they leave he regains consciousness and takes off. Fortunately, another squad car stuck around and nabbed him right down the road. End of story....or so I thought.

Two days later I am chatting with the girl that called the cops and she informs me that she spoke with one of the officers who informed her that this criminal mastermind got charged with DUI that night and once he did whatever he had to do to get home this doof proceeds to call a cab to take him to the impound lot where he then BREAKS IN and tries to steal his vehicle back! Arrested twice in less than 24 hours. What I can't decide now is if his level of stupidity makes me feel safer about the criminals in this city or more afraid.....

2 comments|post comment

My final 2005 Wrestling Update [17 Jan 2006|01:45am]
[ mood | grumpy ]

Ok so back in the summer I left off with match 23 so here is the rest of 2005:

Opponent-Promotion-City, State-Date-Win/Loss

#24 w/Alere Little Feather & Mickie Knuckles vs Prescription Thugz & Crossbones CHIKARA Pittson, PA 7-24-05 Win

#25 vs. Sumie Sakai CHIKARA Philadelphia, PA 8-13-05 Loss

#26-36 vs. Venus WWA Korea/Japan/Guam/Hawaii 8-14 to 8-30-05 Win 7 Loss 4

#37 vs. Amber O'Neal RWC Fayetteville, NC 9-3-05 Loss

#38 vs. Sumie Sakai CHIKARA Reading, PA 9-16-05 Loss

#39 vs. w/Cindy Rogers vs. Alere Little Feather & Sumie Sakai World-1
Philadelphia, PA 9-16-05 Win

#40 vs. vs. Sumie Sakai vs. Mercedes Martinez vs. Alere Little Feather World-1 Philadelphia, PA 10-07-05 Loss

#41 vs. Cindy Rogers WXW Elite 8 Allentown, PA 10-23-05 Loss

#42 vs. Sumie Sakai CHIKARA Collegeville, PA 10-30-05 Loss

#43 vs. Daizee Haze ROH Detroit, MI 11-04-05 Loss

#44 vs. Beth Phoenix SHIMMER Berwyn, IL 11-06-05 Win

#45 vs. Rain SHIMMER Berwyn, IL 11-06-05 Win

#46 vs. Sumie Sakai CHIKARA Reading, PA 11-18-05 Win

#47 vs. Lacey ROH Long Island, NY 11-19-05 Loss

#48 vs. Cindy Rogers vs. Taylor Nicole UWC 12-10-05 Loss

Grand Total for 2005: 48
Goal for 2005: 45

33 Singles Matches
3 Tag Matches
3 Six Person Tag Matches
3 Four Corner Survival Matches
2 Battle Royals
3 Three Way Matches
1 Four Corner Elimination Match

Titles Won: 2
Titles Currently Held: 3

Wrestlers Managed:1

Match Goal for 2006: 50

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[09 Jan 2006|01:51am]
[ mood | tired ]

So where do I begin on this much needed update? Christmas you say? Ok, go!

I had a lovely Christmas this year. Spent it in good ole' Dayton, OH. I got some super cool stuff, particularly from my better half. A portable dvd player, a microwave and a hello kitty purse! I never thought the day would come that I would be excited to receive kitchen appliances but I guess either I am either a) old or b) maturing. Either way, my gifts rocked! And my super cool and super Swiss roommate got me the Jenna Jameson book I asked for (last Christmas lol).

On to New Year's Eve! After spending the intro to 2005 in Central Park it was decided this year to keep things closer to home. My guys and I hit a new Mongolian BBQ place, swung by a party on the way home, ate too many Jell-O shots and was home and asleep on the floor by 11:30. Again, another sign that I am getting old.

On the wrestling side, things have been quiet because of the holidays but the 14th brings it all back with ROH's return to the Philadelphia area. Speaking of wrestling, I hope to update and finalize my 2005 match listing. My notebook went AWOL for about 4 months but I have finally recovered it and need to piece some info together before I can post. Keep checking back for that.

And check out my new layout on MySpace...www.myspace.com/allisondanger
No fears, the puppy sandwich picture will be back!

3 comments|post comment

Today was a shitty day [16 Dec 2005|11:03pm]
[ mood | drained ]

Yeah, read the subject. In fact, today was beyond shitty. To top off a horrible night's sleep (or lack thereof, thank you nightmares from hell) I crashed my car into a sign and a guardrail on a stupid ass piece of ice. Old Man Winter you can kiss my ass! Thankfully the sign and guardrail were kinder on my car than this day was on me.

The best thing I can say about this day is the two super awesome gentlemen who stopped on their way to where ever they needed to be and helped me get my car back on the road. They wouldn't take anything but a thank you for their time. A thousand thank yous could not express how deep my gratitude runs for these two guys. Its nice to see in times like these that there are folks out there who are willing to take a moment out of their day to help someone.

Christmas shopping sucks, especially when you have NO idea what to buy that someone special.

Bah freaking humbug.

2 comments|post comment

Hee Haw Hee Haw, its Dominick the Donkey! [14 Dec 2005|11:31pm]
[ mood | sleepy ]

That song brings such a smile to my face but don't try to distract me from my anger....an anger which is aimed at you, the livejournal reader! Why the shit has NO ONE* told me how awesome of a freaking show Lost is??!?!?!?!?!! 16 episodes in three days and now I have to wait until Monday night to watch Disc 5! Arrrrrrrrrrgh I can't do it! Though I do fear I may have a relapse of my La Bamba induced fear of flying. Eeek.

Sawyer...eh ladies? Its all about the wit though Hurley might be my favorite just for the sheer comedic timing. "Hey dude...(insert polar bear, golf course, sea urchin remark here)". Monday will feel like Christmas to me.

*No one meaning my old chiropractor who did actually rave about the show but I chose to ignore him. But hey, its 2005 so I can't be blamed for my own ignorance right? That defense works on Maury....

6 comments|post comment

You are NOT the father..... [12 Dec 2005|01:14pm]
[ mood | blah ]

God help me, I have a Maury Povich addiction. For whatever reason, I am totally fascinated by all his "Are you my baby's daddy" stories. Jerry Springer wishes he could be Maury. At least with Povich he tries to cover his ratings whore eyes with a thicker veneer of caring. Boo-yeah!

Over the weekend I was a part of the UWC Toys for Tots charity show in Burlington, NJ. I always have a great time at the TFT shows. It was great to see some of the gang again, meet some new faces and of course, hang out with Super Booty. I was in a three way with Taylor Nicole and SB Cindy Rogers. The last thing I remember in the match was being caught in Cindy's standing submission then darkness. And now a bad headache from what apparently was a belt to the head. Hmmmph. But I am a forgiving soul (cough) and still would like to congratulate Taylor and her man Joe on their engagement, which occurred immediately after our match.

This week is Final Battle '05 in Edison, NJ. My last show of the year. Going to score a nice few weekends of rest then back to the old drawing board on the 14th. Whoohoooo! Come on 2006!

6 comments|post comment

[01 Dec 2005|12:06am]
[ mood | full ]

Hmm what a crazy life I lead I must say. Right now I am chilling in the production room in Tampa killing time while ROH commentary is being done. In a few hours it will be time to SHIMMER! You guys have been waiting for it and tonight we take a huge step towards getting it to you all at home. It feels good to be teamed up again with my old partner Dave Prazak.

So the holidays have passed and I imagine life for most of us has returned to normal. My holiday was great, thanks to great family, good friends and yes, the folks at US Air. And here begins my rant....you should probably ear muff the kids as this won't be pretty. Thursday morning finds me at the Philadelphia airport on two hours sleep but hyped to be heading to my folks' place in NC. Got through security relatively quick so I had a nice little wait at my gate, no big deal. On the plane, which was a bit crowded and super hot but eh, no big deal, I fell asleep before we even leave the gate. Which is interesting as apparently we sat on the runway for an hour. Now we are going into "could be a big deal territory". So I land safely in Charlotte to discover that my connection had already started boarding fifteen minutes prior. Uh oh. And the gate I am at now is clear on the opposite side of the airport in which my connection is at. Big uh oh. So I ask the flight attendant what are our chances of making this flight. She says to help those in a time crunch they will announce to the rest of the flight to please stay seated until we get off the plane to increase our chances of making it. Sweet, thanks stewardess lady. They make the announcement, things are cool. Then it is time to get off and up stands this pig of a woman who decides to block the entire path on my side of the plane. I ask her to please let me through as I am rushed to make this flight. Her response? "No. They will hold your flight for you". Ummm yeah that is not what the flight attendant said. So I ask again and again she refuses to move her fat ass. Now I am pissed. As she blocks our pass for NO reason other than she is a heinous oxygen theif the stewardess announces that we have no chance of making our flight and we will be moved to the next available flight which is five hours later (and will cost me the holiday with my parents). I am ready to kill, Tracy Smothers style. I am boiling mad and the lady actually turns to me, laughs and says "Oh well, at least they are holding my plane". You fucking piece of shit.

Now I am going to digress for a second and give you a little insight to Allison Danger and airports. With the exception of one recent event (which had it not been for my better half I would have easily ended up in jail for calling a cop a cocksucker. I don't recommend this method of handling a Philadelphia airport cop. Most are cool but there are a few that are on a ridiculous power trip-that is a story for another day. But for the record, I was right, he was wrong and he was/is a cocksucker.) I am a patient airport person. In fact, they should use me in airport security training videos. I don't complain about long lines, I always show up early, I am patient and kind to airport employees and never, ever complain about going through security. Hell, security in Hawaii called me the model traveller for my easy going manner. But this lady trying to ruin my holiday sent me through the roof.

So I finally get past superwhore fatass McGee and run straight to Special Services. Here is where things start going my way. I explain the situation to the lady, who understands what I was going through. She grabs her walkie talkie and then tells me to hop on the cart. Alright! She tells me they haven't closed the doors yet so she was going to race me across the airport to the terminal in hopes of getting me on that plane. I must admit that riding on that cart, red faced with anger and wearing a monkey hat, was a bit embarrassing but fuck it, I need to get to Thanksgiving. Two carts later (there were stairs between the gates) and I make it literally with a minute to spare. They had ended up holding the plane just a few more minutes. About half of us from the first flight made it but thanks to Captain Fatass several people did miss our flight.

So my reason for venting all this on here? Mostly to get it off my chest but deep down I do kinda hope she has a kid who is a wrestling fan. So that kid can show her what a piece of shit I think she is.

In the end though I had a great holiday with my parents, a few good days off to spend time with family and my dogs, cats and birds. And on my return flight, I got bumped into first class at my connection because we missed our original flight by about an hour. At least it was to rain and not some bitter bitch who delights in making those around her as miserable as she must be on the inside.

Time to Shimmer...

10 comments|post comment

Giraffe-headed baby [09 Nov 2005|12:39am]
[ mood | tired ]

Happy people.....happy animals.

Wow, so much to write about yet still too tired to string words together in a.... That line alone took 10 minutes to write. Eeek. I need about 24 full hours of sleep to finally and truly feel refreshed.

Just a few quick notes to get your minds wanting more:

Without a doubt, Sara Del Ray is easily the absolute best female wrestling in America. And she has great taste in chips and other things. She rules!

A road trip is never a road trip without some Mitch Hedburg on the boombox.

The Marriot Courtyard is the bestest hotel in Chicago. The Denny's in Chicago Ridge can lick my ass (and not in a good way!).


Sleep calls, updates to come.

7 comments|post comment

Highly amusing, if only to me. [03 Nov 2005|02:12pm]
[ mood | amused ]

Shimmer shimmer shimmer. Got the hint yet? Yeah, that's right people, its Shimmer weekend!! Thanks Prazak!

Anything else going on? Nope, its a slow weekend. But I do have a new layout on PrettyPieceofFlesh.com.

Heading to Detroit and Chicago for the weekend. Pink soda in Chi-town with MK!

Hopefully I will return with plenty of good road stories to make up for this boring update.


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